Get thee behind me...ambulance chasers!

It was bound to happen...it was inevitable. Seriously, emergencies don't happen when things are "normal!" Do they?

So I'm bored out of my mind tonight...oh wait, it was last night...'cause it's 2:37 in the freakin' morning right now! So, I *was* bored out of my mind *last night* and nothing was going on of any interest. Cole had flown to Denver earlier in the afternoon, T.V. was dullsville and I was all caught up on my e-mails.

I decided to get caught up on some back episodes on TiVo that I haven't yet viewed when the phone rings. I look at the caller I.D. and see it's a business. I almost didn't pick up the phone, but it was just about 10:00 p.m. and I knew that there wouldn't be a 'normal' call coming at me this late.

It's my neighbor Olane (it's pronounced 'Oh-lahn'). She's a cute little asian girl, the wife of a hunky, blond surfer-dude type and together they are a great couple. They've been married for about 18 months. Her husband, Rocky (yes, that IS his name) had left for a business trip to China on Saturday and she's been holding down the fort on her own for the past few days.

A couple of days ago, Olane broke the news to Cole and I that she was 10 weeks pregnant and this will be their first child. Excitement and glee all around! These kids' kids are gonna be gorgeous!!! For SURE we'll be the two gay uncles next door.

Earlier this afternoon, I was out in the garden getting the old dead plants cleared from the planting beds and Olane was doing the same. We were musing about the crocus bulbs that were blooming in our grass. Cole and I had planted them last year and our neighbors were all like "What are those crazy gay boys doing now?" Now they are all like "Da-yum!"

So as were were chatting casually, Olane says to me, "So I told you guys about our fun little surprise?" To which I replied, "Oh yeah, we are soooo happy for you guys." And she's like, "So, our little surprise went away this morning." -- as if she had just told me that the weather was just perfect today or something rather mundane. WHAT??!!!

So now I was all bummed and sorta feeling a bit ridiculous for having gushed a little at the thought that our neighbors were prepping for a new bundle of joy in their lives! But she was all like "Nah, I'm ok...I cried a bit this morning and called Rocky in China and he was sad, but it will be ok." HONEY, maybe YOU are ok, but **I** need a drink!

I was impressed with how well she had been taking it. I suppose we all grieve in our own way, so if she was mourning her loss, it was so not evident. Which leads me to tonight at 9:49 p.m. when the "business" number appeared on my caller I.D.

It was Olane. This time, however, she was sobbing and tearful and I could hear some real fear in her voice. She told me that she was doubled over in pain and couldn't get up. She was on the floor and had been on the phone with her doctor's on-call nurse, who was about as helpful as a do-it-yourself tooth extraction service. The nurse wasn't doing much to help calm her nerves and with Rocky being on the other side of the planet at the moment, she was feeling truly isolated!

Immeadiately, my 'caretaker flight attendant' mode kicked in. I ran next door, finding her in the fetal position in the hallway, cell-phone clenched in her hands (thus the source of the 'business call' at my house -- this was her work cell-phone!).

I got her situated in my car and we booked for the nearest hospital, about 15 miles away. I ended up missing the Emergency Room entrance since the lighted sign wasn't lighted tonight. I took her hand and guided her to the Triage desk, helped her fill out the papers and sat her in the waiting area. The Triage nurse asked her to rate the pain she was feeling from 1 to 10, 10 being the worst. She said that it was definately a 10 pain, worst she had ever felt. While waiting for an ER room, she stood up with a panicked look on her face. She told me that she felt a huge rush of what she was sure was blood. She hurried in to the restroom and didn't come out for about 10 minutes.

When she did return, she didn't seem as pained, and she then tells me, "I think that might have been the baby!" Ah...um...eh..."Erv, clean up on aisle 4!" Olane, I asked, I thought you said you had already miscarried? She said, well I thought I had, but I think maybe I just did now. I could see the fear and the anguish filling her cute little face. It was a gargantuan effort for me not to break down right there. But I knew I needed to be a rock for her, her "substitute Rocky."

Well, several hours, ultrasound and blood tests later, she was released, knowing that she had, in fact, lost the baby and that she wan't suffering from an ectopic pregnancy. The doctor was great, telling her to get bed rest for several days, and to really, not be embarassed if she needed time to grieve. **I** wanted to hug this guy!

As we pulled into the driveway, Olane turned to me. "Rocky owes you big time" she said. I waited for her to go into the house. Doors locked. Um...ah...eh...No house keys! Luckily, one of their basement windows was unlocked and I hurredly ran upstairs and opened the front door for her. "Olane," I told her, "If you need anything at all, even if it's 4 a.m., you call me immediately!"

She smiled, thanked me and closed the door gently. I thought to myself, "What a day I'm having!" And it occurred to me that I had heard that in the ER waiting room tonight. AMC was showing "Splash" and Eugene Levy's character had said the same thing in the movie.

As I closed the garage door, I looked down at my front yard to the crocuses that were in bloom, albeit they were closed up tight for the night, my softee side started to surface. I thought "I wish I could pick a bouquet of these and give them to her just to enjoy, and to let her know that life does indeed carry on, and that this is all part of life's road and the travels we encounter along the way.

So, I know you can't smell them, dear, but here they are nonetheless. May they soothe your troubled heart!