Busting a mental gasket

Do you ever find yourself standing in a line and suddenly the hair on the nape of your neck stands on end -- you turn to discover that the person standing behind you in line has violated your personal space and is just a tiny bit TOO close?

How about at the grocery store?  You go to one of four available self-chekout lanes, scan your things...you are almost done.  There are other lanes open but for whatever reason, someone comes up behind you in line and then does that typical "folding of the arms" thing while glancing at their watch.  I'm not in any hurry (or, at least I wasn't when I stepped up to the machine and began to casually scan my selections).  But this person starts shifting back and forth on their feet, and the look on their face suggests that thirty more seconds and they will shed their skin and some body snatcher will proceed to blast me full force!

Wow!  What pressure!  Pressure I didn't ask for; pressure I don't invite or actively seek after.  I start to wonder if I'm the one who's strange.  I mean, seriously, what's the big hurry anyhow?  Our society is in a hurry.  Our life's experiences are getting blurred...no need to stop to smell the roses -- no one takes the time to plant, tend or care for them anymore anyways...and the ones you buy at the florist shop barely have a scent anyhow.

I must be pretty sensative to it lately.  Last night, I travelled home from a visit to see my kids.  At the airport, I'm in the screening line waiting to get through the scanner.  A man steps up behind me (there go the hairs on my neck again).  He's definately short-fused and his constant huffing behind me prompted me to invite him ahead of me in the line.  His response?  "Oh, don't worry, I'm ok, go ahead."  (Hmmm, are you SURE?  I have no doubt that the 30 seconds that I could save you would help you get just that much more talking on your cell phone accomplished!)

I get on board the airplane which only had 40 people booked on it (a rare occurance these days).  I get settled into my seat, at least 2 full rows away from the nearest passenger.  Departure time approaches and at the last minute, two older guys come aboard, pass by row after row of empty seats, and decide to settle into two seats directly behind me.  What?!  Not wanting to appear irritated, I try to ignore this fact and enjoy my flight.

As I sit there, the old man sitting immediately behind me is breathing heavily through his nose...you know what I mean...just that little bit louder than it needed, like his nostrils were partially blocked.  Unfortunately, he's been drinking at the airport pub and the odor of stale alcohol is leeching into my airspace.  I turn the air flow knob above me to full blast in an attempt to blow it back at him.  Then the proverbial "straw" drops!  He belches and microseconds later lets out this huge "rumble" from his seat cushion while a loud "aaahhhh" escapes his mouth!  OMG!  *sniff* *sniff* EWWW Polish sausages too?!?!?!

I didn't even wait for the seat belt sign to turn off (yes I KNOW that I'm a flight attendant...I'm trying to set an example, but no human should be forced to suffer on such a grand scale!).  Why couldn't they sit in the other empty seats?  I pack up my belongings and move up two rows and across the aisle from the two of them.  I sneak a glance at the presumed violator in question (who am I kidding -- he's definately GUILTY!) and he shoots a look back at me like "What?  What did **I** do?"

I want to think that we all have a breaking point that is really tough to reach.  I try to breathe in and breathe out (although when you have a grungy old timer letting loose in the seat behind you, it's a pretty gargantuan task), and try to take a step back to get a new perspective on my situations at hand (again, a tough chore when those hairs are standing at attention -- maybe if he was cute, I might actually PURPOSELY take a step right into him -- hmmmm). 

But seriously, I don't really get the whole "drive like a maniac, running red lights, swerving in and out of traffic lanes, or using the carpool lane as your own personal private passing lane" when the vast majority of the cars around them are also guilty of breaking the speed limit laws.

I don't get the "talk on your cell phone loudly during what SHOULD be a private conversation between you and the party on the other end of the phone call" -- only to be able to simply imagine what THEY are saying just by how YOU are talking.  Most of these new phones have voice enhancement technology and you could whisper and your call recipient wouldn't know you were whispering, hearing you loud and clear.

I suppose it's a sign of our times...and to make matters worse, we have to all be careful what we say or what we do since "Big Brother" is monitoring all of this anyhow. 

Do you feel the hairs on the nape of your neck standing upright yet?